He loves me, He loves me not

Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits: Who forgives all your iniquities, Who heals all your diseases, Who redeems your life from destruction, Who crowns you with lovingkindness and tender mercies, Who satisfies your mouth with good things, So that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s. The Lord executes righteousness and justice for all who are oppressed. He made known His ways to Moses, His acts to the children of Israel. The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in mercy. He will not always strive with us, nor will He keep His anger forever. He has not dealt with us according to our sins, nor punished us according to our iniquities. For as the heavens are high above the earth, so great is His mercy toward those who fear Him; As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us. Psalm 103:2-12

I’m sure many, if not all of you remember the He or She loves me, loves me not game. It’s the one where you would take a flower and begin pulling off one petal at a time until they were all gone. With each petal you pulled off, you would think about the person you liked and whether or not they liked you. The goal was to be able to get to the last petal and say the person you were thinking about loved you. I guess somehow that gave us some hope that person did indeed like you. Looking back, I’m guessing that we must have just felt that 2nd grade was really hard and we needed some kind of hope we didn’t have to face it alone.  

What’s crazy to me is how in my life this game has almost become a norm. Now, of course, I’m not talking about pulling petals and saying that my wife loves me or not, because that would be weird. Plus, I already give my wife enough reasons to question the best decision she ever made. 

What I do mean is that so often, for one reason or another, I play this game in my mind with people close to me. I pick up my imaginary flower and I begin to pull petals. My goal is no different than it was as a kid; I want to make sure that last petal says they like me. Each petal represents a feeling of acceptance or love that person has for me, or lack thereof. If I do something that makes them happy, then I get to pull the love me petal, and if I do something I feel is bad, I pull the love me not petal. To be honest, I usually end up pulling more of the love me not petals because I always feel like I’m not doing good enough.

What’s worse is not only do I do this with those close to me, as you probably have already guessed, I do this same thing with God. For example, I might read my Bible in the morning and so He loves me. Then I might do something for the millionth time that I know is sinful, and I think He loves me not. 

Okay, so obviously I have an issue, and I’m sure I’m not the only one that has or does feel this way. So I guess the real question is what do with this never-ending searching? What’s something that can anchor us down and let us know that God, above all else, does love us and that we don’t have to search for acceptance and love anywhere else?

Well, we have to start with truth because that’s our only constant that we can rely on. We also have to know that the only real truth that we will ever have is the word of God. We can’t trust our feelings because, as my amazing wife always says, these are temporary. Now, of course, I’m not saying to ignore every feeling, but we need to make sure to test every feeling by something anchored in truth, and again, that’s Gods word. 

So let’s look back at Psalm 103 and see the truth in Gods word. So the first thing that we see is God is the one who forgives us all of our sins and He even redeems our life from destruction. We also see He crowns us with lovingkindness and tender mercies. Then it says that He is merciful and gracious and slow to anger and abounding in mercy. Lastly we see that He has not dealt with us according to our sins and He has removed them from us as far as the east is from the west. 

This is the reality and the truth for the person who has placed their faith and trust in the Lord Jesus Christ. This truth, when we allow it to take root, will begin to dispel what the enemy will tell us about who God is and will allow us to live free.

So today, if you know Jesus and you are struggling, I encourage you to take those feelings and wrong ideas and put them up against Gods word. Read what God says about you and more importantly about who He is. Then if you’re tempted to pull that petal and think that God doesn’t love you or you have to earn love at all, remember His truth. That is our only anchor and in that we will never run out of “ He loves me” petals. 

Now full disclosure, I am not in any way saying that I have any of this figured out. This is something I am learning and will be learning for the rest of my life. There have been a lot of things through the years that have brought me to this place, but God is faithful. He is showing me every day that I am loved by Him and that will always be enough. People may hurt us and let us down and we will do the same to others. We have to know people are flawed and change but God never changes and He is constant and perfect. He is the same yesterday, today and forever. 

If you are someone who still does not know Jesus yet hear what God says to you today from His word. “Come now, and let us reason together,” says the Lord, “Though your sins are like scarlet, They shall be as white as snow; Though they are red like crimson, They shall be as wool. Isaiah 1:18. God will not turn away anyone who comes to Him and He desires to forgive abundantly.